Okay, I know that I've been slacking on the Five Things I've Learnt...front.
That's because I've actually been taking the hints and suggestions on here about doing something with them and am now doing just that.
In the meantime, here's one thing that really does baffle me:
Italians love their cars more than they love their women so it stands to reason they want to test them out and drive them as fast as they can. Which happens regularly even when the speed limit is going to be broken by 20, 30, 40, 50 or even 60 kilometres. What's a speed limit, after all?
That's okay, I can accept that Italians like to pretend they are Michael Schumacher or Kimi Raikonnen on a Formula 1 racetrack. Just. Not that I have much choice when the G-Force pins me to my seat as Mario hurtles us around hair pin bends. The only threat - and it's far bigger than it actually sounds - that does any good is reminding him that if he dares to do it again, my mum will force him to watch the rest of us as we tuck into Christmas dinner.
But what I don't get is that how Mario, or any other Italian, can speed so carefreely when the cars being overtaken are those of the Caribinieri - one of Italy's four police forces. Not that the carabinieri mind. They are too busy smoking a cigarette and sharing a joke to enforce the law.
And another thing I really don't get is how the caribinieri don't mind drivers breaking speed limits but are bothered about the mountain bikes, which are tightly secured to the rack on the back of my VW Passat, not having a hazard sign. That got points taken off my license and fine.
But why am I complaining? Italy wouldn't have the same charm if everything ran smoothly like it does in Germany.
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